Instead of TELLING what happened, use your words to paint a picture with a narrative, or a story, to explain what happened. Using a narrative makes your essay more interesting and keeps the reader engaged!
Here's an example of an essay that uses a narrative. And you can see that their voice truly shines through!
Two sets of small hands rest on the brick retaining wall, poised and ready for our ballet class. Ideally, we’d be in a studio with flooring and a real barre, but today, the driveway is our studio. Eager to learn, the girls stand in first position waiting to hear what we’ll be doing. I check my notes to see “pliés” with a combination of steps written below. This is all very new to me. I’ve only ever been the one awaiting instructions, but as I stand in the driveway, it’s my turn to lead the class. I’m nervous that I’ll mess up or teach something wrong, but when I look back at the expectant faces of my five- and six-year-old neighbors, I really want this to work.
I started dancing when I was three. My parents signed me up, but I stuck with it because attending the Nutcracker every Christmas with my grandmother was such a special experience. The dresses. The music. The twirling. I loved it all. I got serious when I switched to the Friday class in sixth grade. These were the higher-level dancers, all older than me and more advanced in technical skill, and the teacher challenged us with complex combinations. We studied the difficult move thrown into the already super-fast and precise steps. Determined and committed, the group of us came together as collaborators and became friends. The challenge was thrilling. That’s why I grew dedicated to these girls on the driveway, wanting them to experience this same feeling of excitement when faced with challenges, but trust in having people to collaborate with.
I started babysitting on Saturdays, on Friday nights I began to ponder what kinds of activities I would do with the kids. Inspired by when I was younger and I spent playing outside with the neighborhood kids, I wanted to recreate this for the younger neighborhood kids during COVID but still wasn’t sure what activity we could do. That’s when I came up with ballet.
Back on the driveway, I look back at my lesson plan. We couldn’t use proper shoes and had very untraditional equipment to work with. Ironically, what developed from teaching a traditional and strict form of dance was a creative solution that was not the typical “ballet norm.”
I know it’ll be okay because my own dance class had to improvise. When our studio shut down during COVID, we found other places to dance. First, a basketball court, then later a parking lot became our studio. On the day of our class performance, we banded together, bringing our parents and friends to a parking lot to see us wreck our canvas shoes on the concrete. It was a little chaotic, but it was beautiful. Now I know that I can dance anywhere. In dance, flexibility is key. Yes, it helps to be physically flexible, but now I know that I can adapt and dance anywhere so long as I surround myself with a supportive community.
I created that same kind of community in my neighborhood too. My weekly dance classes brought me closer to my neighbors and their parents as I saw them more often, and people recognized us from our hours spent outside. While the poised young girls in the driveway performance will always be remembered as my first students, I know they won’t be my last. As I continue to further explore old passions and follow new pursuits, my creativity will only help as I teach and help others. Even in difficult and messy situations, I will use creative problem-solving to find inclusive and thoughtful solutions. My future will hold many challenges, but with the commitment, stamina, and flexibility I have learned from dance, I am excited and ready to face whatever comes my way.
Next Steps: Continue to Step 5-2.